if i could relive those days, i know one thing that would never change

I feel like I’m so ahead of the game with things right now – I’m just barely 19, and I’ve been renting my own place for a year and a half, I have a full time job with benefits and job security. My company actually pays for all of my insurance courses, and I like what I do. Give it another 6 months, and I’ll be running road full time, and I’ll be bringing in close to what the manager of my office makes. I want to have a house by the time I’m 25, and I’ll be right on track, or I’ll even be there! But then what happens? I run the road for 5 years, and then without a doubt, just like everyone else, I WILL get sick of the road, and I’ll want a job without insane amounts of stress, and I’ll want to go back to working in the office, or worse, I’ll finally figure out what I want to do with my life, and I’ll decide I want to go back to school. If I go back to working in the office, I’ll take a huge cut in pay, and then maybe I won’t be able to afford my mortgage – or the worse option: I’ll enroll in university. By that time, I will not be ahead of the game anymore, I’ll be far, far, far, behind the game. I’ll be 25 and in my first year, and I probably won’t even be able to get a student loan because the government will look at my nice car and my house and be like.. uh no way. So then I’m really screwed, basically.

Thoughts?

Of course, ideally, I’d just decide what I want to do with my life, like now, but I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon, I just can’t seem to find that ‘niche’ everyone else seems to discover. Of course, by that time, I’ll have a level 2 license in insurance, and all of my CAIBs and be certified to manage an office/have my own brokerage, etc etc, but I just don’t really see myself working in an office for the rest of my life.

Anyhoo, that’s my rant for now. I’m moving this weekend, so the next two days of my life will be spent packing EVERYTHING, and I haven’t really hardly started yet, oops. I’ve just been an eat-sleep-work-watch greys anatomy mode, and its quite sad. On the other hand, I’ve been doing a fair bit of walking lately, which has been pretty excellent, I feel better for it actually. And the other day I spent FORTY FOUR dollars on groceries, and I actually have SO MUCH FOOD, its so amazing. And rare. I’m really enjoying it while it lasts. I have a bunch of photos I’ve been meaning to upload, and I know I need to change the music, but next time, hopefully!


Cheers

I wish I could say that's it's all black and white but it's grey, it's the same, it's the same and I'm so tired

i have decided that i'm sick of being on fb/skype from after work to sleep while eating dinner and watching greys anatomy.  i'm going to lose my hermit status starting this monday. (technically i started yesterday, but that night was a write off, and tonight i am a prisoner in my own house because the roads are pure ice. too icy for the sander machines to even be on the roads apparently.) anyways, seriously.... 3 weeks ago i only went on fb like 3 minutes every two or three days. ridiculous.

drowning on dry land

New Years Resolutions:

Wash my car
Set the date for my CAIB 1 exam
Set up my RRSPs
Do a spring cleaning overhaul of my house
Take my Class 5 Road Test (i tried to do this yesterday but i had a tail light out.... @#&%(&@#

pretty good for january the 12th, i have to say! but now i can not WAIT for summer. i am sick and tired of wind and cold and snow. i want green grass and waterfalls and hiking and blue sky and sunscreen and floating down the river and horseback riding and swimming and puffy fleecy little clouds that hold no moisture whatsoever!

We bear your name,

and you let us say

you are something that you're not.

As if you were made after we saw our own faces,

and knew we were gods enough.

I think we were made too pretty.

We're caught up in a stare we cannot break.

We know nothing changes too slowly.

Someday we might come down,

but who's to really say?

And if we are the body,

how'd the pretty men get so ugly?

How'd he get all these spaces between each limb?

And if there is one thing bigger than my head,

that's the distance I've been mislead.

'Cause I think we were made too pretty.

We're caught up in a stare and we can't break.

We know nothing changes too slowly.

And someday I might come down,

oh, I don't wanna come down.

I think we became too pretty.

We don't want a God we don't see in ourselves don't see we're in need.

We don't want a God we don't see in ourselves don't see we're in need.

I think we were made too pretty.

We're caught up in a stare and we can't break.

I think we were made too pretty.

Yeah, so much we don't see it yet.

We don't see it.

We know nothing changes too slowly.